Okay, let’s talk about priorities.
I was watching Real Time with Bill Maher talking about the wildfires in California.
I wondered what Bill would say about the hurricanes in St. Petersburg, Florida and where a new Tampa Bay Rays baseball stadium would fit in the city’s priorities. So I asked ChatGPT what Bill would say…
Bill’s Response to St. Pete (via AI)
Why does everyone love ignoring the climate change elephant in the room? Or, in this case, the flood in the streets.
Take the fine city of St. Petersburg, Florida. Lovely place. Great sunny weather most of the year, and when it rains? Oh, baby, you’d better get your canoe ready because the flooded streets turn into canals faster than you can say ‘stormwater management.’ And yet, somehow, the city isn’t exactly leaping at the chance to fix its sewer and stormwater systems.
Now, if this sounds familiar, it’s because it is. Remember when I talked about the California wildfires? That’s another example of what happens when you ignore infrastructure needs. The state let dead trees pile up like kindling for decades, and now the hills burn faster than a joint at Coachella. And when the inevitable happened, what did we all do? We acted shocked, as if someone accidentally bumped the “fire” button instead of the “sunshine” one.
Well, St. Pete, you’re doing the same thing. Except instead of wildfires, it’s water. Not the “Ah, how peaceful” kind of water—this is the “Oh God, it’s up to my knees in the living room” kind.
Here’s the deal:
St. Pete needs $5 billion in improvements to its sewer and stormwater systems. That’s what it costs to keep homes from becoming indoor swimming pools. And what are they doing about it? Not much, unless you count “thoughts and prayers.”
Meanwhile, this city and Pinellas County just got slammed by two hurricanes in two weeks. Two! That’s like being hit by a bus on Monday and then being sideswiped by an SUV on Friday. But sure, let’s act like that can’t happen again. Because, you know, the climate crisis is super predictable these days.
Even St. Pete’s Mayor Ken Welch gets it. He’s said, “Even with our good planning, the reality is that we are seeing more of an impact from climate change.” He also said, “We’re seeing more of the extreme impact rather than the moderate, and I think our resiliency plan has to reflect that.”
So, if we all agree that climate change is slapping St. Pete in the face harder than a Florida man on a bad day, why are we spending $1.6 billion in city resources—and another $800 million from the county—on a baseball stadium instead of infrastructure? (See the full details HERE.)
And let’s talk about the Tampa Bay Rays for a second.
They originally agreed to contribute $700 million to the stadium and cover cost overruns. But now? They’re saying, “Oh, sorry, costs are higher, and we can’t afford to pay more.” So, the Rays are basically saying, “You cover the rest while we slide into home plate with a shiny new stadium.”
Here’s the thing: Baseball doesn’t even drive economic growth or tourism! The numbers are in, and the Rays have had bad attendance for 27 years. That’s 27 years of empty seats. At this point, you’d have better luck filling the stadium with people waiting out a flood than actual fans.
So, I’ve got to ask: Why aren’t we telling the Rays goodbye? Seriously, what’s the point? The team isn’t delivering what they promised, they don’t bring in the economic benefits they like to claim, and, frankly, this community has bigger problems. When your streets are flooding and your sewers are backing up, maybe it’s time to let go of the dream of baseball saving the day.
This is your California wildfire moment, St. Pete. Do you wait until the disaster is so big it’s unavoidable? Or do you get ahead of it? Because ignoring it doesn’t make it go away—it just makes the eventual damage worse.
So, here’s my advice:
Stop treating your stormwater system like your gym membership—you can’t just ignore it and hope it works itself out. Get in there, roll up your sleeves, and do the unglamorous, unsexy work of keeping your city dry. Trust me, your future self will thank you.
Or don’t. Who am I to judge? Just remember: When your city is drowning, there’s no stadium big enough to bail you out.
Below watch Bill’s latest segment NEW RULE from January 18th.
